Peta Todd sexy calendar exclusive

Unless you’ve immersed yourself in tramp strength ‘gentlemen of the road’ cooking whiskey this past fortnight and are currently being fed by machines and are having your poor booze crocked liver pumped clean of evil while NHS nurses wipe your spirit dribbling arse, welcome to 2011.

As a way of wishing you well and hoping you are not clinging to your last breath on an NHS life-support machine, we’ve got you an exclusive full-on look at Peta Todd’s amazing calendar for the year for you.

Look below and witness every month of the year (plus some covers) in all their digital loveliness. See not a single own label Asda jammy finger mark or a trace of gas station grease to be seen on our non-paper shots, just Peta Todd in all her statuesque loveliness.

Sadly, 'feasting your eyes' is all any of us is likely to do as Peta Todd has recently announced that she’s seeing someone. And it’s not just anyone either, it’s only Mark Cavendish the champion cyclist who has won stages of the Tour de France and has just won Sports Personality of the Year 2011. Congratulations!

He’s also reckoned to be about the world’s fastest sprinter on a bike, so you can imagine what he’s like in the sack! We’re afraid our lager and kebab fuelled thighs just aren’t going to compete with his jackhammer fitness and supersonic sprint finish.

Anyway, check out all the images and go to celebritycalendars.co.uk if you’d like to buy a copy for your bedroom/Mr Pokey’s wardrobe of self flagellation/white van pimped out with knives, duct tape and black bags/trailer that you share with your sister who is also your dad/abattoir of 1000 horrors/secret lock-up where you wear a suit constructed only from human skin*.

* Please delete as appropriate

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